‘We’re Going to Meet Women Where They Are’

DR. BERI RIDGEWAY: One year in, how do you feel about what we’ve accomplished together with the Women’s Comprehensive Health and Research Center?

MARIA SHRIVER: It’s just been a dream come true.

Many years ago, I got involved in women’s health through my work in Alzheimer’s. My dad had been diagnosed, and I was working in that space and discovered that we needed to rewrite the narrative on women and Alzheimer’s to put women at the center of that disease. Everybody told me this didn’t disproportionately impact women, and I thought, “That’s wrong.”

I was so proud of changing that narrative. We started the Women’s Alzheimer’s Movement (WAM) to fund research into women’s brain health. With Cleveland Clinic, we’ve funded dozens of grants together and started the WAM Prevention and Research Center, and then realized there was no home for women’s health and research.

You’re seeing the need that women from around the world have to be told they’re not crazy, to have their symptoms validated — particularly at different stages of life. My daughters in their 30s have a very different idea of women’s health than I do. So a center that acknowledges how our health changes and can go through our life with us is essential.

I always envisioned a health center that says, “This is what we want to talk to you about in your 20s, your 30s, your 40s.” When I talk about women’s health, I talk about it comprehensively — my emotional health, my spiritual health, my physical health, my cognitive health — because it’s all connected, and no place has really been able to connect it for us.

This center is revolutionary. I have a big vision for it, as I know you do. People will be coming from around the world to be cared for, to be seen, to be acknowledged and to get healthy in every aspect.

DR. RIDGEWAY: In your book I Am Maria: My Reflections and Poems on Heartbreak, Healing, and Finding Your Way Home, you delve into not just the physical health of women but how all those other pieces create our holistic health. Talk about that.

SHRIVER: Just like our health, our lives can change dramatically at different times.

At one point you can be a hard-driving, iron-willed journalist, then you find yourself raising children. And then all of a sudden in your 50s, you may find yourself on a hotel room floor sobbing and going, “What just happened?”

I know I’m not alone in that. You may lose a job; you may get divorced; you may lose a spouse, a child — so many things can cause heartbreak. And heartbreak is a unifying thing. This is really a story of trying to understand my own emotional life journey — which is my health.

For me, that meant going to therapy, using plant medicine, doing group therapy and writing poetry. I wanted to understand who I was as a child. My mother was a force of nature. She started the Special Olympics. But she struggled with her health her whole life. I watched her be dismissed, trying to get answers for her gut issues. Her brother was the president of the United States, and she couldn’t get any answers. That was really eye-opening.

Then I watched my dad get diagnosed with Alzheimer’s — to see a man whose brain was the most finely tuned instrument not know who I was — and nobody could help him. 
I wanted to turn the reporting lens onto myself and see what I could learn and share. Because we’re all on this journey that has ups and downs. And it’s really hard to feel good and healthy if you’re suffering from heartbreak, if you don’t know who you are, if you’ve lost your identity.

The book became No. 1 on the New York Times Best Sellers list. As I traveled, people would say, “This is my story.” That was awesome. Because it tells me that we’re all dealing with what life throws our way.

DR. RIDGEWAY: You’re so vulnerable in the book. I’d love to explore two things: Not feeling seen when you were younger, and the self-identity journey — when we think about what society tells us we should be and how we become authentic to ourselves.

SHRIVER: We live in a society where everyone asks what we do. So many people introduce themselves with their title. They don’t even say their name. We believe that we are our job. We are our title. And if we don’t have that, we’re afraid to even go out.

When I was first lady of California, people would tell me, “I’m just a mom. I’m just a schoolteacher.” They thought they weren’t enough.

The book’s title, I Am Maria, comes from my own struggle to own my name, separate from being an award-winning journalist, a first lady, a wife, a Kennedy. I’d say, “Hi, I’m Maria,” and people would respond, “But which Kennedy are you?” I felt like the “Maria” part wasn’t enough.

So I thought, “Go out and get a job people will understand. Work hard, get awards, then they’ll understand who you are.” I did it from the outside in instead of from the inside out.

In terms of feeling invisible, I grew up in a family of tremendous overachievers. My dad started the Peace Corps. He was ambassador to France. He led the War on Poverty, Head Start, Job Corps. My mother started a camp in our backyard for kids with intellectual disabilities because no summer camp would take them. That became the foundation of the Special Olympics.

She would say to me: “I don’t want to hear one yip out of you. Go out and change the world. That’s what you’re here to do.” It’s been a difficult voice to silence in my head. 
So yeah, it was hard to feel visible in a house like that. But I think lots of families are like that in their own way. And as a kid, you’re trying to find your own road, and you don’t even have the language for it.

I wish someone had talked to me about that when I was younger. I try to tell my kids: “You’re going to have great days and bad days. You’re going to fall down. You’re going to have to get up. And you are the one who’s going to navigate all of it. And you’re going to be OK.”

We need more people to talk about heartbreak, about hitting rock bottom. When we’re in it, we think: “I’m the only one. This is embarrassing. This is shameful.”

I had the added twist that everyone knew I was on the hotel floor. So many people have shame, but they hide it. I had shame, too, but it was public. So I think it’s important to say, “Yeah, that happened. Here’s how I found my way forward.”

That’s why I’m so adamant about helping other women, especially midlife women. I’ve worked in male-dominated spaces my whole life. I know many women don’t feel seen. I know many don’t feel they have what it takes to navigate life. That’s not true, but I understand why they feel that way.

The more we normalize this instead of shaming it, the healthier we’ll be. The healthier our families will be. The healthier our society will be.

Today? I love my life. I’m finally proud of myself. My work is deeply meaningful. But it’s not my life. It took me a long time to get my priorities straight. 

DR. RIDGEWAY: What’s happened in just one year at the WCHRC is unbelievable. So what’s next?

SHRIVER: The center can only grow. It’s going to become global. We’re going to meet women where they are. Women of all ages, all backgrounds, all skin colors.

We’re going to build something people around the world will recognize. We’ll be known for our research. For our care. For seeing women, especially midlife women, who often feel invisible, both in healthcare and in the world at large.

I hope this center becomes a beacon of light. A place where, if a woman is suffering or confused, someone can say, “Go to Cleveland Clinic. They’ll take care of you. They’ll set you on the path to find your way home.”

Because when you don’t feel good, it’s hard to feel good about life. And women deserve to feel good.

We also need medical schools to start teaching doctors about women’s health. Too many doctors still say, “I got an hour on menopause in med school.” That’s unacceptable. So is the lack of federal funding for women’s health research.

But we can do something about it. We can do it right here. We can give women answers. Make them feel heard. Make them feel not crazy. We can offer the best care in the world. This is the only place that can.